How to Apologize to Your Girlfriend After Hurting Her Feelings?

Arguments are hard. Fighting is not something that any couple likes to partake in. Nevertheless, it affects every couple at one point or another.

If you are reading this, it means you did something wrong that hurt her feelings and your girlfriend is upset about it. Apologizing to her is always a tough task, but there are a few key points you can follow if you want to make sure that she forgives you quickly.

Note: This advice is only valid when the offense is not a very big deal, but if you did something like cheating, the process of “Apology-Forgiveness” is definitely tougher and longer and will be covered in another article.

So how to apologize to your girlfriend after hurting her feelings and treating her badly to get her back and make her happy again? What's the best way to make her forgive you after a fight or after lying to her?

Here are our tips on how to become a pro at apologizing and getting your girlfriend back after an argument!

Understand the reasons for her reaction and behavior

First of all, you must sit down and reconsider the facts. “Why did this happen?” “Why did I do this?” “Why is she so hurt?” "Did I say something wrong in a fight we had?" It's possible that you don't understand the situation because it doesn't seem like a reason to be upset for you. But if this really hurt her, it is important that you understand her reasons and motives. This has two parts:

1. Mentally rebuild the facts. It should take you only a few minutes, although depending on the complexity of the situation and the longevity of the problem, it can take you more time.

2. Use the facts to put yourself in her place.

Apologize in person

If you can, apologize in person. Unless you're apologizing for something non-relationship threatening, don't apologize over text. If you're in a long distance relationship, then apologize over FaceTime or Skype. That way, you can also bring a peace offering, like flowers (if she likes flowers!). A cute greeting card, a coffee or her favorite dessert will help ease the tension.

Construct your speech

Once you understand everything and you get to see the big picture, it is truly important that you think about your speech. Virtual apologies like a quick, short text message "I'm sorry" won't work, you have to do it in person so that she can see your gestures and hear your words. If you are in a long-distance relationship, call her or FaceTime her. Anyway, you will need a clear scheme of what you want to say.

She won't forgive you if you're holding back or lying to her. She'll only get more angry and will feel even more hurt and upset with you. If you're worried about your honesty not coming off the right way, practice what you're going to say in advance so you don't end up hurting her feelings even more. Although, it is important that you try not to look like you had everything planned and rehearsed because she may think you are not truly honest. Also, it doesn't have to be a “speech”: It is better if it's a conversation in which she gives you feedback.

You will divide your speech or conversation in three parts:

1. Ask her how she feels about the situation.

2. Tell her how sorry you feel for hurting her feelings and for what you did. Those are two different things and you should feel sorry for both.

3. Tell her it won't happen again. Real apologies are followed by actions!

Make sure you actually say “I'm sorry”. It's not an apology without these exact words. It sounds simple - you both already know what you did wrong - but simply stating what you did wrong back to your girlfriend will mean a lot. It will make her feel heard and understood. There is nothing worse than someone not being able to say I'm sorry. Try saying things like “I didn't mean to hurt your feelings and I'm sorry”. It's simple, honest, and direct. But most of all, it's effective.

Finally, ask for forgiveness. Depending on what you're apologizing for, her forgiveness may not be a given, so don't assume that it is. A good way of getting her forgive you is saying something like: “Do you think you can forgive me and trust me when I say that this won't happen again?”. This will show her that you don't take her for granted: And that is very lovely. If she accepts your apology, say thank you. If she needs time, give it to her.

Listen! This is key if you want her to forgive you!

A major part of an apology consists in listening to what the other person has to say. Though it is important for you to express your feelings, decisions, and explanations, it is equally as important to let your girlfriend express hers. Talking over a person, or prioritizing your emotions and feelings, will not get you anywhere. Once you have said your words, let your girlfriend talk back with you. Her feelings are as important as yours.

Body language can betray you: Careful!

During the whole conversation, try to be physically close to her, holding her hand or touching her in some way. Listen to what she has to say, keep eye contact and nod in a supportive manner. This is a very important part: Body language expresses how we really feel, even unconsciously sometimes, and this can make her forgive you or be more upset if she notices something wrong in your behavior or body language.

Bring something special to show her your interest in getting her back

To ease the tension, you can bring something special. It doesn't need to be something typical or too romantic like flowers or chocolates. It will be more effective if it means something to her:

• A cup of her favorite coffee.

• A piece of her favorite cake.

• …Food always works.

Be "genuinely" sorry

If you genuinely mean that you are sorry - if you truly wish to apologize - make sure you let it be known. Being genuine is one of the best, most effective ways to apologize. You can't truly apologize without being genuine, so this lesson is a guideline. Being genuine is important, in all aspects of your life.

Long-Distance Relationship: 6 Apology messages for your girlfriend

If you are in a small fight over text, or if you are in a long-distance relationship with little access to your phone, you can also send her a text or a message on WhatsApp. Being clear through text is very difficult, and express yourself exactly the way you want is tough, but here are a few apology messages that will save you when you are in a small fight over text. Feel free to select the one that most adapts to your current circumstances and feelings!

1. My heart has been bleeding since the moment I hurt you. Please forgive me so I can plug the wholes. I am truly sorry.

Intense, huh?

2. Angry is ugly, forgiveness is sexiness. Forgive me please?

This one is cute and funny. If the fight is small, use this one before things get uglier and she gets all T-Rex mood.

3. With a bruised heart and a deflated ego, with a sad soul and a head hung low. I apologize to you unconditionally, baby. I am really sorry. I love you.

This one is just poetic. She will melt!

4. I overlooked your happiness in an attempt to make myself happy, only to realize that my happiness lies in yours. I am sorry, please forgive me.

This message is very nice because it shows you really care about her.

5. I trust fate and I believe in love, which is why I know you'll accept my apology.

I like this one because it shows confidence and, at the same time, it shows that you are very attached to the relationship because you see yourself together in the long-term.

6. I can't believe how I drove us apart, when all I ever wanted was for us to be together now and forever. I am sorry.

This one is very special because it has three important elements: You take responsibility of your mistake, you state that you want to be with her in the long-term and you say the word “sorry”. A very effective paragraph!

In conclusion… Be honest to your girlfriend

Couples fight, and that is okay. If it comes to a place where you need to apologize to your girlfriend or a girl you hurt, make sure you are genuine, kind, honest and direct. Saying “I'm sorry” can be difficult for some people - try not to be one of them.

The key to a good apology is making it crystal clear that you acknowledge how sorry you are and how much you understand how she feels. The rest is just ornament to decorate the situation so your speech is effective to the maximum.

If after all this, she is too angry to even listen to you, you should let her have her space for a few days so that she can calm down and think about the whole situation and about your apology words. When she is ready… She'll be back!

Good luck!

Final advice: It is important that you commit to your words so that she can trust you again. If not, she will feel betrayed and the next time you try to apologize, she will remember you didn't commit the last time. Oh, believe me… She will remember. So be honest and don't let her down!