How to Approach, Ask Out & Flirt with a Shy Girl?

Just because a girl is beautiful or attractive does not mean that they are extroverted. In fact, there are a lot of girls that can tend to be either introverted or shy. Guys tend to avoid the shy girls because they do not know how to approach them, but there are ways that you can approach and flirt with a shy girl that can work in your favor.

What's the best way to Approach a Shy Girl?

You cannot approach a shy girl in the same manner that you approach an extroverted girl. Girls who are shy tend to scare away from interaction or social situations, so approaching them or asking them out too offensively can scare them away. Whether the girl is shy or introvert due to a bad childhood, low self-esteem, or culture, there are ways that you should approach them in a respectful yet flirty manner. Below are the top three tips for approaching a shy and reserved girl:

1. Try to Match her Energy: This is not only true with shy girls but can also be true with anyone you are just meeting. When you match or mirror the body language and verbal communication of someone, they can form a connection with you faster. However, with a shy girl, you do not want to mimic her shyness, but instead want to crank your own energy down a couple of notches. Once she begins to get more comfortable, slowly bring your energy back up.

2. Act Comfortable: When you are talking to or flirting with an introvert girl, you want to make sure that you are comfortable and at ease. This comfort will make her feel more comfortable and less judged. If you begin to react to her quirks, she will begin to second-guess what she is saying and doing and revert back into herself.

3. Lead the Conversation: Shy girls don’t normally like to lead the conversation so you will have to take on the burden of conversation and lead the discussion. Don’t be too scared to talk about yourself because that will keep the conversation interesting and keep her engaged. It may even push her to open up about herself as well. That's also true if you try to approach a shy girl over text.

How to Date a Shy Girl?

Approaching a shy girl is one thing, but dating a shy girl is a whole different story. You want to make sure that you don’t overstep their boundaries, but you also want to make sure that they feel confident, so it can be a weird balancing act. Below are five pieces of advice for you if you are dating a shy girl:

1. Be Patient: The number one thing that you must do when dating someone who is shy, reserved or introvert is to be patient. You have to understand that she is not going to open up right away. Don’t take this offensively; instead, be patient and understanding to show her that you are willing to wait.

2. Listen to Her: Because a girl who is introvert or shy may not want to talk much, you have to listen to every single thing that they do decide to say. You have a right to your own opinions if you do not agree with them, but you have to go about it in a different way. Show them that you care what they are saying and are listening actively.

3. Meet Them Midway: While it can be easy to take on all of the burden when dating someone more reserved, you want to make sure that you meet them halfway rather than doing all of the work. Allow her to open up to you as well as you are opening up to her.

4. Accept Their Quirks: Shy girls have quirks and personality traits that are unlike those who are extroverted. You want to make sure that they know they are accepted and not judged by you. Shy and reserved girls tend to be very self-conscious, so make sure that they know you accept everything about them.

How to Make a Shy Girl Feel Comfortable and Open Up?

Once you begin dating an introvert girl, it becomes natural instinct to want her to open up and feel comfortable around you. However, this is not easy for someone who is shy, so don’t take it offensively if they don’t open up to you right away. Before she can open up, you must make her feel safe to be herself around you. In order to do that, consider the following tips:

• Show They You’re Not Judgmental: As stated before, show the girl that you are not there to judge them. Instead, show them that you accept them and like them for who they are.

• Listen Carefully: This was also mentioned before but we are repeating it because it is important. Listen to everything that she is saying, especially because she doesn’t not say much.

• Don’t Gossip Around Her: Because shy girls are often self-conscious and do not feel super confident in themselves, if you talk negatively about others in front of her, this may make it worse. Try to only speak positively about others in front of her to make her feel more comfortable.

• Make it Known that you Care: While you know that you care, a shy girl will often have a lot of self-doubt. Because of this, make it known that you care about her and that you are there because you are genuinely interested in her.

How to Read the Body Language of a Shy Girl?

Since a shy and reserved girl is not good with her words, she will often show how she is feeling through her body language. If you have been flirting with and getting to know a shy girl and want to know if she likes you too, there are some signs that she shows you through her body language. Pay attention to the following the next time you are talking to a shy girl you like:

• Her Eyes will Speak Volumes: Pay attention to her eyes because her eyes will do a lot of the talking. For example, it is proven that a girl’s eyes will dilate when they are looking at someone they like. On top of that, girls will often tend to bat their eyes, smile with their eyes, and stare at you if they are interested in you.

• She will Touch Her Hair: One nervous habit that also tends to be a sign of flirting is when a girl touches her hair over and over again. When a girl touches her hair, she often is trying to call attention to herself and wants you to notice her.

• Pay Attention if she Looks at Your Lips: A tell-tale sign that a girl like you is when they look at your lips. This means that she is interested in being more than friends with you and is interested in taking the relationship to the next level. This can also be a sign that she wants to kiss you, though you must make that clear first.

• She may Angle Herself Towards you: When a shy girl angles her body in your direction, she is often showing interest in you and being closer to you.

• Proximity is Key: Rather than a girl telling you that she is interested in you, she will often show her interest by standing in close proximity to you. She will often make excuses to be close to you no matter where you are.

• Shyness can Increase: While the girl is already shy to begin with, if her shyness and anxiousness increases when she is around you, it can be due to her interest in you. A shy girl will often get more nervous around someone she likes because she doesn’t know how to act.

• Crossing and Uncrossing her Legs: A shy girl will often think that her legs are not as easily noticed, but they can actually be a giveaway in her feelings for you. If she crosses and uncrosses her legs repeatedly, it may be an unconscious action that she doesn’t even notice that she is doing.

• Blushing Cheeks: Blushing is a sign for anyone, especially introvert or shy girls. When a girl is interested or has a crush, she will often blush when talking to that person. If a shy girl blushes a lot around you, it likely means that she is interested in you.

Tips to attract a shy girl

Overall, if you do not know how to approach, ask out or date a shy girl, there are ways to do so that will make her feel comfortable and safe around you. There is no good reason to avoid shy girls just because they are shy. Instead, find what makes them comfortable and do that instead.

You want to make sure that you are patient, understanding, attentive, and show her that you care about her. With time and patience, she will eventually open up to you and feel comfortable being herself around you. Do your part to make your shy girl feel comfortable, confident, and happy so that she is more prone to being vulnerable with you.