What To Do When Your Ex Girlfriend Ignores You?

Being ignored by an ex hurts, especially when the breakup is recent and you're anxious to discuss the situation or putting an end to the relationship. If we are to look at the situation coldly, the most likely is that your ex girlfriend is ignoring you because she doesn't want to see you at the time being, and the best thing that you can do is accept and respect that decision.

Of course, this would be a really short article if that was all that there is to do! However, before jumping into attempting anything, it is really important to take a step back and analyze the situation to better understand the reasons to that behavior.

Why is your ex ignoring you suddenly? What does it mean?

There are a number of reasons for this, and it can be tricky to pinpoint what is exactly going on in your ex girlfriend's mind, although the circumstances surrounding the breakup are likely to give you a hint. Depending on why she's ignoring you, there are a series of things that you can do as a consequence.

I don't want to crush your bleeding heart, but the very first thing that you need to understand is that regardless of the reason, there is something that every reason that can lead your ex partner to ignore you have in common, and it is that she doesn't want to see you for the moment. It can be a hard pill to swallow, but everything I am going to tell you will work way better if you ingrain this information in your brain before making any other move.

Try to walk a mile in her shoes and remember the last time when you have had someone pestering you around that you didn't want to talk to. It is easier to restrain ourselves and not call the same person 50 times when we objectively analyze our own feelings and try to put ourselves in the other person's shoes. Remembering this advice can be helpful!

She ignores you because you hurt her

If you broke up with her, you cheated or you hurt her feelings, she's ignoring you completely because she needs healing from the situation. This is not something that you can provide to her, so the first thing that you will want to do is giving her space and apply the zero-contact rule for at least a couple of weeks.

After you have given her space, it can be the right time to text her in a way that sounds open, friendly, and not desperate or loaded. A text saying something along the lines of "Hey, I hope you're having a fantastic week. How are you doing?" can be a great way to test the waters. If she ignores you after that, don't insist and repeat a zero-contact cycle. If after a second attempt she still doesn't want to know anything about you, it's time to move on.

However, if she is open for conversation, don't shot your guns just yet and keep it casual until the conversation feels comfortable and not forced. After a couple of days you can ask her to meet for coffee or something (in a public place, skip the "come to my place" kind of move!) and then you can make amendments for the damage that was done.

She ignores you because she wants you to chase her

This is not the healthiest approach ever but alas! It happens, and since it's a frequent reality, it is worth exploring. If you broke up with her for a petty or not very serious reason, left her for someone else or if she ended the relationship because you weren't investing in her as she wanted you to, chances are that she's ignoring you because she wants to see if you will chase her.

This is a dangerous kind of ignoring, because you can't win. You will either have to give in and prove that you're sorry and are willing to walk on your knees for a while, or it will blow in your face when she gets upset because you're not doing so and she will hold it against you. If this is your scenario, before you make any move, ponder why do you want her attention, because if it is not because you want her back, it may be wise to let go.

If you have suspicions to believe that this is the case, you will have to do the Ross and Rachel and sign the letter admitting that it was your fault whether you believe it or not. If you're not familiar with Friends, well, you should! But anyway, in case you're too young to know what I'm talking about or you have no TV, what I mean is that the best way to go around this kind of situation is offering an apology. A no excuses apology owning your wrongs and offering your intention to mend it.

She ignores you because she's done with you

Last but not least, when your ex girlfriend ignores you because she's done with the relationship. This is the most likely case if she was the one to end the relationship and you have had no news since. As well, it can be the case if you have had a long on-again / off-again kind of relationship.

Statistically, men break up more than women, but they also regret it more frequently, while women usually break up after thorough thought and it tends to be a more permanent decision. Your prospects aren't very promising if you are in this situation and you can almost certainly kiss your hopes goodbye. However, there are still chances that you can have a friendly relationship. Here's how:

If your ex girlfriend ignores you because she's done, your zero-contact period needs to be longer. This will give her the space that she wants and as well, it will cool things down for you so that when you talk, you are ready to have a nice conversation without trying to get her back. Depending on the length of the relationship, I would recommend a zero-contact period from 4 to 8 weeks, after which you can attempt a conversation in a casual way.

If your ex isn't receptive, try a second round of zero-contact period before trying to get her attention again. If it fails, it may be time to let go of this and assume that it is not the right time to try and be friends with your ex.

How to avoid sending your ex messages you'll regret later?

Respecting your ex girlfriends decision of not wanting to talk to you can be really tough! When you can't resist the urge to text her, here are a couple of tricks to help you cope: The first trick, which sounds a bit lame but actually work is to write what you want to say in a note and let it sit overnight. If next morning you don't feel like changing a comma, you will commit to send it at night. It at night you still feel like not changing a comma, then you can send it.

Chances are that what you write in a moment of extreme urge is going to sound really desperate after a few hours of cool-down, and you will absolutely second guess your message or think that it doesn't sound as good as you thought you did. If you can say with your hand in your heart that you are entirely sure that this is what you want to change and how and you haven't thought about changing it at all in 24 whole hours, then by all that is sacred say it! It may not bring you the desired results, but it will lift a weight from your chest!

The second trick is related to what I spoke about earlier, but more elaborated. In order for this to work, you need not think about your ex. You need to think about that girl you didn't know how else to tell that you were not into her, the one who wouldn't stop texting or making scenes. When you have her, clearly pictured in your mind, you need to imagine her saying whatever is that you want to say in her voice. That's exactly how you're sounding to your ex, and it will give you good reasons to stay away from that "send" button until the zero-contact period is over!